Fireside Confessions
by Sinister Attraction
Summary: Caryl Story IC; Right after PMDA! "Merle always said ta' never give a woman flowers she'd only take it the wrong way!" he said darkly watching the tears slip from her eyes.


**Ok so this is my first attempt at a CARYL One Shot!**

**It's seperate from my running Caryl Fanfic I have now,. "It all makes sense when it's the end of the world." If you haven't checked it out yet, you should and let me know what you think ;D shameless plug -sorry couldn't help myself!**

**I hope you all like it and it satisfies you're one-shot Daryl and Carol Fluff needs. It's full of angst, hurt, comfort and a little bit of fluff. It may seem dark at times too. Sorry about that, but I was in a dark place when I wrote it. It takes place after PMDA. Kat and Kaye FORCED me to post this! HAHA, I'm so kidding with that -but they gave me the courage I guess is the word because I don't feel like this is my best work to be honest. :( But...**

**I hope you enjoy!**

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"_Don't look, don't look!"_

Carol wanted to listen to his words as he held her back from running towards her now dead daughter. It was odd –they had all been searching for Sophia all this time and she was right there under their noses. She was one of the dead locked in the barn with Hershel's family. All this time she thought her daughter was out there surviving her best –trying to find her way back to her and the moment she saw her daughter – those cold pale eyes she knew every hope and dream she had about Sophia still being alive had been shattered.

Feeling Daryl finally lift her up off the ground she pushed him away covering her mouth looking to him then to Sophia laying face down on the ground.

Why did he stop her from running towards her daughter? Why didn't he just let her go –she wasn't his problem. She was no ones problem but her own –a burden to everyone in the group and yet no one said anything to her. They walked around her like she was completely helpless and yeah maybe she was.

Carol couldn't fight to save her life, this she knew but if worse came to worst she knew she could defend herself.

Right?

As she ran towards the house the thoughts swarmed her mind –would she really put up a fight if a walker tried to attack her?

Would she have done it before the barn had been open, thinking possibly her daughter was still out there alive? She had stayed alive this long and not that the thought of opting out hadn't entered her mind because it had… on more then one occasion. But every time she thought about it something or someone interrupted her thoughts and nine times out of ten it was _him_.

Daryl.

It was as if he knew what she was thinking before she even had the thought stirring in her mind. He didn't have to say much to her for him to look at her just once –those eyes, those lips, his voice –everything about him brought her back to some sort of reality even if he didn't know it.

She knew they all needed something to live for and for her it was Sophia –she had done everything she could her daughters entire life to protect her from things; from the cruelness of the world and most of all her father. Carol did everything she could to be a good mother and a friend and now she would never know if she succeeded. She would never see her daughter graduate, go to college, fall in love, get married… she would never witness any of it.

Although she knew with the world being the way it was even before her daughter went missing she knew those things wouldn't be possible –but there was still a shred of hope there and now there was nothing.

Carol had nothing to live for.

The small bit of hope she had they would find Sophia alive was no more; even that last bit had died the moment she stepped from the barn.

Daryl sat in the RV with her for awhile before Lori came to let her know that it was time to burry Sophia. She couldn't bring herself to go to the makeshift funeral –that wasn't her little girl anymore. She was nothing but a soulless creature that had died long ago when she was bit. Every bit of life that was once in her was dead and gone –Carol couldn't watch as they put what used to be her daughter in the ground. She was upset and although years down the road she might regret not going –right now it was the only thought in her mind that made sense.

The moment she glanced back to see Daryl slide off the counter top and look her dead in the eyes she saw something she had never seen before –sadness. There was anger laced around it but she was sure as hell she saw sadness and hurt in his beautiful eyes.

Why would he be sad or hurt? Why would he be angry?

He did everything he could to help find Sophia –he was the only one out there everyday looking for her. He risked his life to find her and he was the only one to show he cared –of course it was in his own way. He wasn't like the rest of the group –they walked on egg shells around her and pretended like she would break at any moment and although that was true to some extent –Daryl never once treated her like that.

He treated her like a human being –he treated her like he cared.

D/C/D/C/D/C

Of course those thoughts died days later.

Daryl hadn't said one word to her since the day they buried everyone. She had gone up to his camp to ask for help to find Lori and he pushed her away. He got in her face and told her what a bad mother she was –how he didn't care more or less what happened from there on out. Actually no one really said anything to her –Dale had spoken a few words and that was it. She appreciated his attempt at comfort –she really did but it wasn't him she wanted it from. Not in the way she needed it; she needed it from someone else and that someone treated her like she was one of the dead.

That was ok though because she knew in some way or another she was pushing everyone away and frankly it was the only way she knew how to cope without making herself look completely crazy. She could hear the little mumbles and see the looks when she walked by everyone –she knew they all thought she was ready to opt out and join her daughter.

A part of her wanted to take the easy road out but with the last few days to think to herself she knew that wasn't what she wanted. She would and could go on –and it hurt her and made her angry to think that after what happened to her daughter she could possibly find something else to live for and go on. But the kind heart her daughter had –she knew Sophia would forgive her and be with her every step of the way in some way or another.

The day had gone by slow –Carol did the laundry and kept to herself even after Lori protested she could handle it. With few words Carol explained to her that it was ok, it would be a good distraction for her right now. After everyone's laundry had been folded and dispersed she knew Daryl wouldn't be back until later that evening so she took his up to the other side of the farm. He had made his tent and makeshift area as far away from everyone as he could and she honestly couldn't blame him.

As she folded back the flap of the tent she walked inside carefully to see what few things he did have, scattered along the tent floor. She chuckled faintly to herself at how messy he was –it was what she expected out of him. She carefully laid his clothing down by his pillow in the corner of the tent before she noticed a bottle top peaking from under the pillow. She squinted and looked behind her as if she was looking to see if anyone was watching her before she reached and took the bottle noticing it was a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Carol never drank; she had a small glass of wine at the CDC but that was all. She and alcohol didn't get along really –she got buzzed way too fast when she did drink it. Her body and mind felt numb usually after the first drop.

Sort of like she did now minus the alcohol.

Biting her bottom lip Carol held the half empty bottle out and examined it carefully before untwisting the cap –she had no idea what she was thinking or what her motive was behind this –but if she was going to feel numb like she was already –she wanted to feel even more numb and forget. She knew better then to let alcohol impair her judgment about what was going on in her life but right now she really didn't care –it was there and she was there and right now it was going to give her what she wanted.

D/C/D/C/D/C

Daryl had done everything he could the last few days to avoid Carol –he didn't want to admit it to anyone but he was hurt… he was sad and he was pissed. All those feelings mixed in one with him was a lethal combo and anyone in his way would feel that wrath. So instead of hanging around the group or his own little campsite he went out hunting –it was the only way to get away from everyone.

Especially Carol.

He was pissed at himself for not keeping his promise to Carol and finding her little girl. He was angry that this whole damn time she was there right under their noses locked up in the barn with a bunch of other walkers. He was hurt and sad that Carol couldn't even attend her own daughters funeral –not that he was sad for her –well he was- but because he had searched day and night for so long to find her and Carol couldn't even give him the satisfaction of attending the funeral.

For fuck sakes he did and Daryl didn't like to show he cared about anyone or anything for that matter –and searching for her like he had, had shown enough of all that. Standing around with everyone that day and feeling the eyes on him asking "where's Carol?" he could have put an arrow threw all their skulls at that moment. Why the fuck would he know why she didn't come?

It had been a few days and he still didn't know –he still didn't know why he even cared to think about it now? Why had he let that woman get under his skin as much as she had? He didn't care about her and she sure as hell didn't care for him… or at least he told himself that to make himself feel better after the way he treated her.

The woman had told him once she didn't want to lose him –he wasn't hers to lose so he didn't understand that?

Or maybe he did understand and just wanted to ignore it?

The last time they really spoke was when he yelled in her face –he wanted to get all his anger out at her that night. He wanted to ask her why she had to be a selfish bitch and not attend her daughters funeral –but instead he just bad mouthed what a bad mother he thought she was. He really didn't think she was –in fact he knew Carol was a good mother to Sophia but he was just so angry at her. She took his verbal abuse too and that pissed him off even more that she was so numb to it and even flinched when he got close to her.

Hitting her was something he would never fucking think of doing so why the fuck would she flinch?

With a growl at his thoughts he hung up the squirrels he had caught and started a fire outside of his tent. The sun had already set and it was getting a bit colder out these days; Daryl walked towards the shed area and pumped some water into the bucket before rubbing his hands in it to wash up some. He ran his wet hands over his face and closed his eyes loving the cold feeling on his cheeks and back of his neck.

"Need ta' quick thinkin' so damn much," he mumbled to himself before he stood up and walked back to his tent.

He hadn't noticed before that the flap was part way open. Reaching for his buck knife at his side he reached out and opened the flap all the way to see Carol slumped over on her knees with her back to him.

"What are ya doin' in 'er?" he said angrily. When she didn't respond he growled slightly and reached out to touch her before he heard her sobs. He clinched his fist and pulled his hand back quickly.

Why did she have to come to his tent and cry?

He huffed slightly rubbing the back of his neck before he watched her head come up and tip back with the bottle of Jack in her hand. His eyes widened at the large gulp she had just chugged –he knew she didn't drink but damn she was sucking it down like a damn champion at that moment.

"Hey!" he said angrily watching her flinch dropping the bottle from her hand and before it could hit the tent floor he snatched it out of her hand slightly spinning her back on her knees. Out of instinct he put his out to stop her. "The hell ya think yer' doin?" he said without caution.

Carol swallowed hard blinking a few of her tears from her eyes as she crawled back up to her feet slowly. She swayed slightly putting her hand on her forehead as she stumbled forward slightly into him. When she felt him flinch back she chuckled and pushed him away from her as she stumbled and fell to the ground just as she hit the outside. She cried out in anger and pain feeling her knee hit something beneath her. Not all of her pain came from the thing digging into her knee at that moment but a lot of it came from Daryl. The way he made her feel these last few months –he made her think he cared and then he was a complete ass to her telling her what a bad person he thought she was.

She was so confused.

Daryl was at her side suddenly leaning down to lift her up from her arm and one hand on her side. He felt her fall forward again before she stood swaying on her own; he felt her fight against him suddenly. Daryl flinched feeling her fists hit against his chest to push him away.

"No, you don't get to help me!" she paused pushing him away. "Not anymore!" she shouted seeing the surprised look on his face.

Daryl was taken aback by her sudden outburst and how she fought against him. Even though she barely touched him –her hits felt like a bee sting –they didn't hurt at all. He wanted to laugh but he restrained –he found himself even angrier when she spoke out looking at him with her pale wet cheeks.

"You don't care remember, Daryl?" she shouted at him again still slightly swaying.

Daryl just stood there listening to her –he did more or less tell her that so what was he to say to her now?

"So why ya 'er then?" he finally said watching her closely as she clutched her fist to her chest. "Ya drank all my booze," he said holding up the bottle shaking the last bit of it before he took a long swig of the remaining liquid.

Carol wanted to vomit at that sight, not at him of course but of the booze itself. It made her sick now to think she drank most of that anyways.

"Well?" he said shouting now throwing the now empty bottle to the side hearing it clunk against something. He saw her eyes follow the bottle and her shoulders flinch when it hit whatever it hit.

"I don't know why!" she said finally. It was only after she said that she remembered her original reason for coming up to his camp –to put his laundry in his tent. But before she could say anything more she watched him step closer to her leaving just a few feet between them.

Daryl looked her up and down –she looked so vulnerable in that moment. Her tear stained cheeks glistened from the flames of the fire –her body trembled and he knew it wasn't just from her being scared but because the temperature had dropped this evening. He chuckled and shook his head, "go on, get outa 'er!" he said shooing her away with his hand. He looked at her beautiful face one last time before he watched her sway to turn around and when he noticed her limp he cursed stepping a few feet to her grabbing her roughly by the elbow. Without a word he pulled her with him towards the fire, he could feel her fighting against him again.

"Get off me!" she said feeling him release her elbow even rougher then when he grabbed it.

"Sit damnit!" he said with an angry tone pushing her down towards the log that was sitting around the fire. He left her sitting there for a moment before he walked back to his tent and got some antiseptic he had. He left it in his tent knowing that sometimes the work he did was dirty and he knew hell would freeze over if he got hurt and couldn't hunt for the rest of the group.

Not saying a word to her he knelt down in front of her and ripped the knee of her jeans off. He watched as she jumped slightly and heard her breath hitch from his sudden boldness. Daryl would never allow himself to get this close to her before –he would never think about touching her either but he felt like an ass. This was his way of apologizing to her and if she didn't get it then that was her own damn problem.

Carol swallowed hard feeling his fingers graze her boney knee as he poured the antiseptic on her wound. The skin was broken apart and blood seeped through it, there was a piece of earth stuck inside of it as well and when he poured more solution on it pulling the piece out she moaned and hissed in pain gripping his hand to stop him. She watched him flinch now at the sudden contact and watched as his eyes played up on her face. She swallowed loud and hard not feeling him try to break from contact with her before she felt his other hand cover the wound with the cloth he had.

"Sorry," he mumbled feeling her removing her hand from his. He continued his work and patched her knee up for her tossing the bloody pieces by the fire before he kneeled up watching her examining the work he had done.

"Thank you," she whispered faintly finally looking up at him seeing him nod slightly.

It was silent for awhile between them and Daryl had finally took a seat next to her on the log. He watched as she opened and closed her eyes a few times and put her head in her hands –she was going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow.

"Why?" she whispered faintly looking into the flames.

"Why what?"

"Why did you pretend to care… if you really didn't?" she asked faintly still not looking at him.

Daryl growled inwardly. He wasn't sitting out here with her to talk about this shit –he was sitting out here because… well because he cared and wanted to make sure she was alright.

"Ya don't know whatcha' talkin' 'bout!" he said roughly. "You don't know a damn thing 'bout what I feel!"

"I think I do," she said pausing finally glancing over at him. "You made it pretty clear how you felt the other night… so tell me, Daryl, why… why did you pretend to care about me when you went looking for Sophia?"

"Cared for ya?" he said standing up now. "Never once said I cared for ya!"

"You didn't have to say it!" she said a little louder in her sweet meek tone. She was hurt hearing all this again. Seeing him open his mouth she carried on and cut him off, "you were the only one who looked for her day and night, you risked your life out there for her! You promised me you'd bring her back…" she said with a tremble in her voice from the tears that were threatening in her eyes now. "You gave me that rose and told me that story… you gave me hope, Daryl." She confessed frowning looking down at her lap. Her head was spinning at that moment and she wanted to stand but being that close to the fire she was sure she would fall in.

He chuckled darkly rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand, "Merle always said ta' never give a woman flowers she'd only take it the wrong way!" he said darkly watching the tears slip from her eyes. Saying that to her stung a little inside and he could only imagine what it made her feel like. "I was only tryin' ta' make ya feel better!"

"Why? You don't care so why was it so important to you that I was hurting? Why did you hold me back that day?" she asked in a mocking tone. "You say I'm not your problem and yet you're always there picking up the broken pieces of my mess."

Daryl couldn't answer that. Not now. He knew why –because in some way he cared for her himself. He hurt when she hurt and he didn't know why but the day Sophia went missing and he saw the way she was handling it all –he knew he wanted nothing more then to protect her and show her that he was worthy enough to help out.

"You couldn't even attend your little girls funeral and yer' gonna sit 'er and ask me all these damn questions!" he finally said changing the subject walking away from her to the other side of the small camp fire. It pissed him off beyond anything that she couldn't even show that she cared about her daughters death. He had spent so much time out there looking for her and the least she could do was attend it to show her appreciation.

"You'll never understand!" she said suddenly a little louder then she wanted. "Why does it matter to you anyways, you don't care remember? And why the hell am I even sitting here arguing with you about this!" she said making a move to get up.

"Cause you got yer' ass drunk and can't walk back to yer' tent!" he said answering her statement. He watched as she stumbled to get up from where she was sitting and before he could stop his feet he was at her side again. This time his hands wound around her wrists holding her up as she sobbed silently to herself; he felt her fight gently –more with herself then him before she collapsed into his body. Daryl stiffened from her sudden movement and dropped his arms to his sides.

Carol buried her face into his chest and cried –she felt weak at that moment. Not just because of her crying but the booze had taken over long ago and her numbness was becoming greater.

"Ya ain't the only one who lost someone," he said feeling her lift off of his chest suddenly to look at him.

"I know that!" she said quickly. "But I'm the only one who lost my daughter –she was my life –Sophia was my reason… for living!" she said with a sigh whipping her tears.

Daryl growled slightly seeing her jump, "what? 'sthat what ya was tryin' ta' do –take the easy way out by drownin' yer'self in my booze?"

She swallowed hard shaking her head to let him know that she wasn't trying to kill herself. He didn't directly say it but she knew that was what he meant by what he just said. It was funny how this conversation had turned from being brutal to soft to brutal again.

"Then what the hell was it?" he said angrily now.

"I just wanted to forget!" she shouted slightly. "I wanted to forget for that moment that I was all alone –that my baby was dead!" she admitted watching his eyes play on her face. She closed her eyes tightly feeling the tears slip from them before she looked down shaking her head.

"Yer' not alone," he finally whispered seeing her head snap up. Her tear stained face glistened in the fire light and he wanted nothing more then to reach up and wipe them away from her cheeks. "Ya got a whole farm with people who care for ya," he said finding his voice finally –this was getting too heavy again and he hated being nice.

"Yeah," she said hugging herself with a slight shiver turning to face the fire. "Are you one of those people?" she said not looking at him. She saw his mouth open but before he could say anything she held her hand out, "don't answer that," she said finally. She knew the answer –he had already told her that his mission to find Sophia was because he had nothing else to do–so why even have him answer that question and make her more upset? "Look …" she said licking her lips, "I did… do appreciate everything you did to help find her and I'm sorry if I upset you by not showing my appreciation before –I was –am still in shock this is all happening," she said with a sigh.

They stood there side by side not saying a word; the wind had picked up slightly causing Carol to shiver even more. Daryl grunted inwardly walking back to his tent to get his jacket for her. He walked up behind her dropping it on her shoulders feeling her jump slightly as he moved to stand beside her.

"I'm not lookin' for ya to say yer' sorry," he said softly looking at her from the corner of his eye seeing her pulling his jacket tighter around her thin body. "Yer' right, I'll never understand how you feel about losin' yer' little girl just like you'll never understand why it was so important for me to find 'er." He blurted that last part out with a hiss hating that small confession.

"You already told me," she said flatly. "You had nothing better to do so please spare trying to make me feel better."

He shook his head with an angry chuckle knowing that was what he told her but it was lie and going back on it now would only open a new door of problems for them. He wanted to tell her the reason he searched so hard for Sophia was because he knew what it was like to be a child lost in the woods –he knew what it was like to have no one and to come from a somewhat broken home. Although Sophia had both her parents –he knew Carol was really the only one the little girl had. He wanted to tell her that he felt the need to protect her –and if she ever asked why he couldn't give her an answer and right now he didn't want to search his mind for it.

He just knew that he wanted to make her his responsibly –he wanted to look after her and take care of her. He'd never know why or what reasons it was for him to be so drawn to her like was but he was nonetheless and there was no changing that now.

He stayed silent and watched as she sat down on the log again; it took him a few minutes before he sat down next to her. He watched her eyes open and close slightly from exhaustion before she sat up blinking a few times and hesitantly leaning into his side. Daryl stiffened at the sudden contact and felt her head go to his shoulder and her breathing steady before he moved his arm out hesitantly to let her fit better in the crook of his arm and shoulder. He wound his arm around her tiny waist and took in a deep breath –he had never held a woman before –this was new to him.

"I lied," he whispered softly feeling this sudden urge to tell her the truth. "I couldn't stand ta' see ya hurtin' when she went missin. I held ya' back 'cause I couldn't live with myself if something happened to ya, Carol," he whispered once more. "Don't ask questions why 'cause I aint gonna tell ya…" he said seriously looking into the fire as his thumb absently rubbed circles on her hip. When she didn't more or say anything Daryl looked down to see her long lashes casting a shadow on her pale tear stained cheeks. Wouldn't you know it –he tells her his feelings –his true feelings for the first time and the damn woman fell asleep on him.

With a chuckle and grunt he moved her carefully away from him before putting one arm under her legs and the other around her waist lifting her up. He knew she wasn't heavy but he never imagined she would be so light either. He made a mental note for later on to make sure she ate better. Feeling her head rest on his shoulder he carried her into his tent, kicking the blankets back with the toe of his boot before lowering her down onto them. He pulled the covers back watching her curl into a ball moaning something faintly as she slept. He sighed conflicted now –he didn't want to sleep outside tonight but he also didn't want to make her –or better yet himself uncomfortable with this situation.

Finally swallowing his lump in his throat he threw away the scared feeling he had and toed his boots off carefully zipping his tent up and laying down next to her with his hands up under his head. He looked to his right seeing her shivering slightly with her eyes still closed, he leaned up a little and pulled the blankets up around her more before laying back down. After awhile he finally closed his eyes feeling himself start to fall into a light slumber before he heard her voice speak so softly.

"Do you really think I'm a _bad mother_?" she choked out her voice just below a whisper.

Daryl contemplated answering that –if she was up –which he couldn't tell –she could probably see he eyes were closed and he was "sleeping". This made him wonder now if she heard what he told her when they were out by the fire? He didn't answer her for awhile and finally felt her moving at his side, he stiffened slightly at the feel of her hand hesitantly touching his side and then his chest. He felt her pull away and heard her take in a deep shaky breath before he finally felt her head on his shoulder and her hand resting just above his heart. He waited awhile as he moved one arm down and wrapped it around her waist before he whispered back to her before he completely fell asleep.

"I don't think yer' a _bad anything_ ."

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**So was this One-Shot ok or no?**

**If you've been keeping up with my other Caryl fanfiction then you'd know that I'm really ALL ABOUT staying in character as much as possible and same applies with this story... was it in character enough for everyone or did it just totally suck? Again I don't feel it's my best work but I want everyone's opinion so that's what I'm posting. **

**Please let me know what you think, Reviews would be greatly apperciated!**

**Love to you all!**

**PS: CH20 on "It all makes sense when it's the end of the world" will be up soon!**


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